This local league offers low-pressure games where LGBTQIA+ players and allies of all skill levels can enjoy sports safely
By Hannah Lee | Photography by Bliss Floccare
Soccer’s been part of Ezri Lagu‘s life for as long as she can remember. Which is what made walking away from it so difficult. She grew up outside of Greensboro, and by age 5, developed a passion for kicking the ball around. That spark only grew as Ezri got older and her skills improved. By sophomore year of high school, she’d emerged as a standout – so much that Ezri was on a pre-Olympic developmental track.
But as she kept climbing the youth sports ladder, Ezri – a transgender woman assigned male at birth, who transitioned in summer 2022 – struggled more and more to fit into high-stakes sports settings. “The unpleasant energy that I always got from sports growing up was that it was really intense,” Ezri says. “I don’t enjoy the competitive aspect of it at all. It’s also very cis-male dominated.” After years of experiencing vitriol-laced trash talk and reckless physicality among so many of her teammates, Ezri eventually had enough. She loved the game … but not everything that came with it. At 16, she told her travel coach she was done, with one condemning reason why: “This was awful. I hated all of this.”
It wasn’t until August 2022 – a month after Ezri began transitioning – that she discovered Durham Queer Sports, a free local league and social group specifically designed for the LGBTQIA+ community. There, she finally found the larger community she’d always hoped for.
“Being able to enjoy a sport that I had known for my entire life, in a very different setting than what it had ever been, was really just healing,” Ezri says.
DQS began as a recreational kickball meetup and “free queer space” in 2019, according to co-founder Ally Fion, and has since turned itself into a full-fledged league with nearly 2,600 followers on Instagram. Ironically, the pandemic accelerated that growth: DQS consolidated three fledgling sports groups under its current umbrella and, while games were on pause, organizers built the infrastructure – a website, newsletter, leaders for various sports and a structured weekly schedule – that allowed the league to thrive once play resumed in 2022.
The sports that the league offers have changed over time – volleyball and paddling are newer additions, while basketball was cut – but its central mission remains the same.
“We sort of colloquially talk about it as socializing through sport,” Ally says. “We really want to focus on a community vibe that is very intentionally and actively safe for anyone who shows up.”
That means welcoming players of every orientation, race and experience level.
For every seasoned athlete like Ezri, there are just as many others – like Ezri’s partner, A.C. – who didn’t grow up playing sports. In fact, the only reason A.C. joined DQS was because, on one of their first dates in October 2022, Ezri needed to leave early to make it to a soccer game. Soon after, A.C. – a self-described “drama kid” growing up – started tagging along to spectate, and by January felt comfortable enough to play.
“I went in sneakers, we played one game – and I’m like, ‘This is so much fun,’” A.C. remembers. “I was like, “Let’s go find cleats.’”
The low-pressure environment is what made A.C., and so many others, feel most at ease. DQS doesn’t require scorekeeping, prior experience or really anything other than a willingness to participate. Every game begins with a huddle where players introduce themselves, share pronouns and review DQS’ code of conduct.
“Those rules center around being explicitly anti-racist, anti-transphobic, anti-ableist,” Ally says. “This is a space where you can come and just have fun.”
The league relies mostly on donations – which have paid for, among other things, reversible jerseys that participants across the various sports share – but Ally hopes that DQS can one day establish nonprofit status with access to more reliable funding. It’s also exploring sponsorship opportunities with local businesses and organizations – anything to expand DQS’ growing reach.
In the meantime, Durham Queer Sports also maintains a mutual aid fund to help members when unexpected needs arise.
The impact, Ezri and A.C. say, is already undeniable. As volleyball captains, they’ve watched players step into their authentic selves. Both remember a newcomer who initially introduced themself with “she/her” pronouns; then, after a few weeks, felt comfortable using “she/they.” “It’s the sweetest thing,” A.C. says. “It’s one of the things that makes me the happiest when I’m there. I have no idea how influential it is for other people’s experience – being in the circle – but I know it was huge for me.”
